About five years ago I met a girl who brought the light back into my life. She was smart, sweet, witty, and always knew how to brighten my day. We fell hard for each other pretty quick, it was the most intense I had ever felt for someone. We moved pretty fast and ended up staying the night with each other at least five nights out of the week, and this was within the first year. Everything was really great for the first year or so, she helped me through rough times, and I did the same for her.
We did everything with each other and told each other everything. We didn’t make decisions without talking to the other one first, and we would do anything for each other. But soon we started to lose ourselves in the relationship. We stopped seeing friends, stopped talking to family every day, we became all each other had, totally by choice. We didn’t see ourselves as individuals and neither of us could really function without the other. When I wasn’t with her I felt like crap, like I had just been through a terrible breakup, even if she was only out of town for a couple of days.
While she was out of town one of those times, about two years into our relationship, I felt so incredibly low and weak that I made one of the worst mistakes that I could have made. I found comfort in the arms of another woman and that was the beginning of a full-on affair. Of course, it did not take long for her to find out, and she left me.
A couple months went by and we decided we could give it another go since it was so great at one point, we thought we could get back there. But we were only fooling ourselves. We became even more obsessed and co-dependent than we already were. She was paranoid I’d cheat again and I was paranoid she’d cheat to get back at me. We were miserable, but we stuck together because we knew we’d be even more miserable alone. We’d fight and scream and sleep in separate rooms, but we still wouldn’t give it up. It became increasingly clear that we were extremely toxic for each other, but we didn’t know what to do. There was still a lot of love there, maybe too much. We went on like this for over a year because we didn’t know what else to do.
Eventually, it was too much, I knew if I wanted to preserve any shred of who I was I had to get out of that relationship and find out who I really was. I started asking around to see if anyone knew a good counselor who could help with codependency issues and luckily I found Brittany Bridges. Brittany is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Kairo’s Plano Counseling, Texas, who specializes in several areas, including divorce and codependency.
She was incredibly understanding right from the start and has been working with me for a couple of years now and I couldn’t be more grateful. She would give me “homework”, to help me find myself and be comfortable by myself. Sometimes it would be something as simple as eating breakfast somewhere by myself. Which sounds silly, but I can see how it helped. I highly recommend Brittany at Kairo’s Counseling for anyone going through something similar. It is best to get help as soon as you can. For more info about Kairo’s Counseling, or to set an appointment, visit https://kairos-counseling.com.